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Relationships & Sleep

Simple Steps for Sleeping with Someone

It’s no surprise that sleeping together is an important way for couples to feel connected. But while many partners can live together happily, sleeping side by side is a different story. The Better Sleep Council found that on average, one in three Americans say their partner’s sleep problems negatively impact their own quality of sleep. If your partner’s sleep style has you headed for a separate room, here are some tips that just might bring harmony back to the bedroom – and into your relationship.


Your partner kicks in his or her sleep, waking you up.


Make sure your mattress gives each person adequate room to sleep. If you are sharing a double (full-size) mattress, here’s a fact you might not know: that only gives each person as much room as sleeping in a crib! Couples should share a mattress no smaller than queen-size.


Your partner snores, keeping you up at night.


Because snoring can be part of a serious health issue, consult your physician first. If your partner’s snoring is run-of-the-mill, try investing in anti-snore pillows, sprays or nasal strips designed to help people breathe more easily. These products often alleviate the worst of the issue. And if your partner’s snoring persists, try foam earplugs before you try a different room.


Your partner tosses and turns.


It could be your mattress. If your mattress is uncomfortable, it can lead to restless sleep. Evaluate the comfort and support of your mattress every five to seven years to determine whether it’s the culprit.


Your partner loves to cuddle, but you like your space while you sleep.


Compromise. Before falling asleep, spend some time snuggling together – and then agree to sleep apart.


Your sleep schedules don’t match.


Try finding a bedtime that works for both of you. If your partner turns in early and you’re a night owl, try reading a book with a personal book lamp until you’re ready to nod off. If you’re an early riser compared to your sleep partner, be considerate when you awake. Keep overhead lights off and use minimal lighting while your partner is sleeping.


Your bedroom feels more like an office than a place to sleep.


Repeat after me: Your bedroom should only be used for sleep and sex. Keep work, laptops, phones and televisions out of the bedroom. This creates a much more relaxing – and romantic –atmosphere, and will give you both a better night’s sleep.

What if your partner likes it hot?

Bedroom temperature is a big issue in many relationships. Ideally, your bedroom should be a cool 60-65 degrees Fahrenheit. But if your partner prefers the heat, here are some simple adjustments:

  • Double-fold the blankets so there’s more coverage on one side
  • Invest in a dual-control electric blanket or a twin-size electric blanket for one side
About the Expert

Lissa Coffey, a lifestyle, relationship and wellness expert, is a spokesperson for several national brands, including the Better Sleep Council.  A successful author and broadcast journalist, Lissa has penned 12 books including the best-selling What's Your Dosha, Baby? Discover the Vedic Way for Compatibility in Life and Love – the only book ever written about Ayurveda and relationships. For more visit www.coffeytalk.com.

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